


Hayloft

by fandom_blackhole



Category: Prospect (2018)
Genre: AFAB reader - Freeform, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Cussing, Edgar Allan Poe References, Ezra (Prospect) - Character - Freeform, F/M, Family Issues, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Hayloft by Mother Mother, Late Night Conversations, Mentions of death and injury, Minor Injuries, Misogyny, Mutual Pining, Non-Graphic Smut, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Pining, Post-Canon, Reader-Insert, References to Depression, Sewing, Slight discrimination, Song: Hayloft (Mother Mother), Verbal Abuse, Yearning, books and poetry, farming, no y/n, not from Ezra
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:02:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28483593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandom_blackhole/pseuds/fandom_blackhole
Summary: Living on a small planet meant for farming and farming only didn't have many perks, but when a floater comes to town and is hired as a farmhand for my family things change slightly, for better or for worse.This story is based on Hayloft by Mother Mother and will probably have slight mature themes before the book is finished. Sorry for the shitty summary, and updates are on fridays/saturdays! I(All warnings for each chapter will be posted in the notes at the beginning of each chapter!! Make sure and read them in case I forget to add a tag!!!)
Relationships: Ezra (Prospect 2018)/Reader, Ezra (Prospect 2018)/You
Comments: 12
Kudos: 21





	1. A Dream

**Author's Note:**

> AN: hahahahahahah hello.....So I know that have have shit I was supposed to write but life has taken every bit of creativity from me so I’m not sure if I’ll ever actually write those. So I am sorry if you have been waiting forever for me to post the story. I’ve also made the decision to close my requests indefinitely unless I change my mind because I just don’t do well with them, sorry. BUT, I struck gold and got the idea for this fic and before I lost the inspo I wrote like a made man all yesterday! So I do hope you enjoy! And yes, I did get the idea while listening to Hayloft by Mother Mother  
> Also this is going to be a two part story, I am currently working on the second part and it should be posted tomorrow morning most likely. And I made a playlist, if you’d like to listen to it (I am open to song suggestions to be added!)  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2eWbL7hVV9D1aANtAiw0HD?si=EhGSrtxoQpCaWM7SG4zqrw
> 
> Warnings?: not really, AFAB reader, mentions of a stroke, Ezra’s charm (that needs a warning), bad poetry formatting sorry

The itchy scratchy feeling of the hay digging through my nightwear was worth every uncomfortable second if it meant I could continue to sit here and listen to the man across from me, with his eyes that held galaxies and voice the carried the lilt of the most wonderful song, with that unplaceable accent. He was worth being tired in the morning from staying up all night up here in the loft of my family’s small barn. He was worth all the sneaking around and small meaningful glances sent each other’s way when no one else was paying attention, the brushing of hands when handing something to the other. I wouldn’t change anything about this unless it meant the small glances or the gentle brushing against each other didn’t have to be hidden from the others, if it meant that I could just be with the hypnotic man across from me with his hair as dark as the freshly tilled ground at the being of a harvest minus that one soft looking patch as white as a newly hatched chick’s down and a smile so crooked and white that it felt almost as if he was casting a spell over my very heart and soul. He was worth the pain of picking hay from my hair and clothes in the morning when I have to sneak back into the farmhouse, while already missing the touch of his rough and calloused but gentle hand. It was all worth every bit as long as he helped me forget everything just for the time being.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Living on K-5 was rather simple. The planet was neither big nor small and it was known for its fertile soil that could grow just about any plant whether it was native to the world or not and once one harvest season had finished the other started as the weather always was spring-like with perfect growing conditions. Not many came to stay and those who did worked their entire life in planets many fields of harvest. To the few that actually knew the name of the forgettable planet called it the bread box of the known universe. Though the planet was known to very few people throughout space, the planet’s harvests could be found on just about any other planet or moon feeding just about everyone. 

The farmers of K-5 were known to have bigger families on the premise of needing hands to work the land for food of their own and for money. The farmers also knew that most of their children would leave the planet and look for better elsewhere, and would hope beyond hope that at least one of their children would settle on the sad planet and continue working their farm. Though if luck would have it there might come a ship every so often with people willing to lend hands and work the land if they were compensated well enough. Most that came were floaters looking for something to do in between prospecting jobs, others were looking for a quiet place to finally settle after a long life. 

My father had been one of 12 brothers and he was the only one to stay and take over the meager farmer his father and his father’s father had set up on a small corner of the planet. My father never really talked about his siblings, only ever calling them stupid for leaving the haven that was K-5 for a world they had no place to be in. My mother had been brought here by her mother, who had been a floater. They had made acquaintances with a farmer a town or so over and had lived there as farmhands as that family’s children started dwindling as they left. I have been told that my mother had a fire to her that no other on the planet had, that she was a woman of grace and humility, which is rare in space these days, something I was told I inherited though I’m not so sure I believe. We were a small family, I had two older brothers, twins identical in only their looks. Joshua, a dreamer as my father put it spitefully saying he inherited that from our mother, while his brother Anthony took after our father with his pessimistic view of everything including the world outside of our farm and K-5. I always counted Joshua lucky, he was able to sneak out of our small farmhouse late one night only leaving a note on my bedside table saying goodbye as he left one of the few ships to land on our soil. Father always resented me much like he did Joshua for multiple reasons, one of them being that it was the reason mother had passed, as Anthony informed me one night when asked, another reason being that I supposedly looked like a carbon copy of her, as I was told by the few farmers that remembered her, and lastly and most importantly was my fascination with the outside world. He hated that “Joshua did nothing but fill your head with fantasies.” He hated that because of our small family we needed all the farmhands we could get and that I would always sit with them listening to anything they would tell me, though few would say much as the floaters tended to be a quiet breed, preferring to keep to themselves. 

In our town, the floaters and drifters were usually pointed to our farm when looking for work and usually met with my father before I ever had a chance to meet them, most ignoring me throughout their short stay, anyway. If we were lucky we would get one or two by the time harvesting or planting time had come around and they were always roomed in Joshua’s old room, now cramped from shoving multiple cots into the room rather than one small bed. The room was furthest from mine, which made it hard to sneak into to and talk with those who were willing to feed my curiosities. Having been caught and reprimanded enough times by both father and Anthony I had to learn how to be light-footed and sneak around unseen, though I believe that after awhile Anthony has given up on trying to ‘knock some sense’ into me and just doesn’t try anymore. 

Life was the same for me day in and day out nothing much changing other than the faces and names of the floaters staying on our humble farm. Excitement in our corner of space was far and few between, leading me to seek it out through any means possible, and more often than not it was the few books I was able to get my hands on them being rare as they were, were exceptionally hard to find new stories. Though luck would have it, I was able to get my hands on three battered books whose covers were so worn and dirtied over the years that any image or words depicted were hardly seen. Of everything on my solemn planet, these were what kept me sane, even if I had read and reread each dozens of times. Though their covers were faded, the titles were imprinted in my mind. I treasured my well-loved copies of _Pride and Prejudice, The Hobbit,_ and _Frankenstein_ and kept them close to my heart while also hiding them from my father for fear of how he’d react to them. Though I love every book I owned, it was the newest in my collection that meant the most to me, for it was the first thing that brought the man I long for and I together, a rather small but thick copy of a collection of poems and stories written by Edgar Allen Poe. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Waking up on Saturdays were the only time when I didn’t mind having to roll out of bed and deal with the early hour chill. Saturdays were the days that I got sent to town to collect groceries and odds and ends for the farm from the weekend markets. Father learned early on that I had the same touch as my mother when I came to finding the best bargains and deals, so he began sending me in his stead while he and Anthony ran other errands or helped the current farmhands do morning chores. 

This Saturday wasn’t much different, upon waking and changing into the day’s clothes, I pulled my hair out of my face before stepping out of my room to head to the kitchen to find the list of what was needed on the counter along with the money needed. As usual, I went through my Saturday routine of making a thermos of coffee before pocketing the money and grabbing my bag. I slip my thermos into the side pocket of the bag as I slip the strap over my shoulder, before grabbing the list and scanning the contents as I walked to where my boots were stored next to the door. While glancing through the list, I started to slide my boots on before stopping. In a small section at the bottom were a few items that were reserved only for the few saturdays that the supply ship stopped in our area of the planet, which was very rare if ever. The supply ships were sent to the planet every couple of months with limited supplies and it landed in certain areas to sell what ever cargo it had brought, only to leave when empty. Only the ships usually were emptied after the first two or three stops and this area was usually one of the last stops, making the ships rare and highly sought after in the area. So the fact that our area was finally getting a ship after almost a year and a half without one was a huge deal. A rather large part of me hoped that there would be floaters on the ship willing to be hired out for farm work, especially since the lack of a ship has made my small family have to tend our meager fame with only the three of us because of the lack of farmhands. 

Upon arrival, the town was already bustling with life. Quickening my pace, I went to the center of the town where the new supplies always were held, and upon arriving I made quick work of crossing off everything on the list in hopes of having time to browse for myself. Luck seemed to have shown mercy down on me today as everyone I talked to was fair in prices and after crossing the last item off the long list I still had enough money to buy something for myself and give father change without him being any wiser. Smiling I chatted with a few townspeople and other farmers as I browsed the market, and as I came to the last stall I had yet to look in the market. Having near given up and about to turn from the stall, my eye caught something that had fallen from the makeshift table. Upon picking it up I nearly cried with joy having found what I could only hope to be the next tattered book to add to my collection. Flipping the book over in my hands and flipping through the pages my smile grew as I called the seller over. We haggled the price for a couple of minutes before he accepted my offer with a murmur and taking the money and while turning to begin my journey back to the farm I heard my name being called a couple of stalls over. Looking up, I smiled politely when I noticed it was Mrs.Robertson, taking a deep breath and sighing it back out before making my way slowly over to where she stood.

Mrs.Robertson was a stout woman that had a smile that never seemed to leave her face. She was a lovely woman whose lemon pound cake was well-known amongst the area’s farmers and always had a warm cup of tea and an open ear for whoever walked through her kitchen door, even after her stroke that took all mobility in her left arm. While I have always enjoyed her company, especially as a child when I was longing for a mother figure, recently talking with her always ended with her trying to push her oldest son and I together. Her oldest and youngest sons were the only two of her five children to stay on the planet, and while her youngest had already married and had a couple of children, her oldest didn’t seem to have interest in doing the same, even if she swears that he infatuated with me. Father continuously tells me that he thinks the marriage would be a good idea, even as I tell him it wouldn’t work between the two of us. 

So as I walk over to her and give her a hug in greeting I prepare myself for another attempt at matchmaking. Instead after parting from the one-handed hug, she had given me she motioned over her shoulder to a man who was standing there with a crooked smile that seemed to hold every last bit of charm left in the universe, and Mrs. Robertson, without missing a beat spoke up, “I was just explaining to this lovely newcomer that your father is always looking for new people to help with the farm and was just about to point him in your farm’s direction when I noticed you,” as Mrs.Robertson continued to rattle on I took the chance to glance back to the man behind her, only to find that his woefully dark eyes were still watching me with more mirth than I had seen in years. Looking back to Mrs.Robertson quickly hoping that no redness would grace my cheeks, though I knew it was there anyway. She quickly stepped aside and motioned to me introducing me before the man, if at all possible, smiled wider and stuck out his hand introducing himself as Ezra. As I stuck out my hand to shake his I opened my mouth to give him a polite reply only to be shocked into silence when instead of shaking my offered hand he raised it to his shining smile and graced the back of my hand with a kiss. Now I was absolutely certain that there was red dancing across my cheeks, if not my ears as well. Not able to take returning the gaze the man, I know knew to be Ezra, seemed to be piercing my very soul with I turned to Mrs.Robertson, thanking her and wishing her well before turning to Ezra who was still watching me and giving him a shy smile and tilting my head in a motion as to say ‘follow me’. 

Ezra seemed to be quiet as we walked throughout the town head back towards the farm, though that might have been because the small talk and greetings that were being thrown my way from those from the area that I was friendly with. When we finally broke from the town and the only sound was the dwindling chatter of the market and buzzing of the local wildlife. Though I was startled to a stop from the previous silence by the man as he spoke melodically and seemingly wit purpose, 

> “In visions of the dark night
> 
> I have dreamed of joy departed;
> 
> But a waking dream of life and light
> 
> Hath left me broken-hearted.
> 
> Ah! what is not a dream by day
> 
> To him whose eyes are cast
> 
> On things around him, with a ray
> 
> Turned back upon the past?
> 
> That holy dream, that holy dream,
> 
> While all the world was chiding,
> 
> Hath cheered me as a lovely beam
> 
> A lonely spirit guiding.
> 
> What though that light, thro’ storm and night,
> 
> So trembled from afar―
> 
> What could there be more purely bright
> 
> In Truth’s day-star?”

Having turned to face the man confused, but noticing he was looking towards the sky with a smile, though one smaller than the one he was sporting when you both had made your introductions with each other, this one seeming more blissful rather than purposefully charming. It was only now though that I noticed the absence of his right arm as his left was moved to his face to shield his eyes from the ever glowing sun. Turning his head back to look at me, his smiled widened again before noticing my slight confusion.

“Sorry flower but I couldn’t help but to notice the collection of stories and poems in your hand there, and thought to quote a poem by our dear morose friend Poe. I find his works to be a tad too depressing for my likes but somethings just stick with your very person,” Ezra drawled before sticking his hand out, “May I?”

Unable to really respond as I was still in slight shock I was only able to nod and pass the book over. Where upon gracing his fingers Ezra was able to skillfully thrumb through the book, mumbling quietly to himself with a smile, “It has been quite sometime since I have been able to visit our friend Poe here or any of my other long dead friends I’m afraid,” he paused for only a moment sticking the tip of his tongue between his lips before giving a small quiet winning cry, “ Ah hah! Here you go, ‘A Dream’ by the one and only Edgar Allan Poe.”

Handing the book back with it open on a specific page and there it was, the poem in which he had just quoted in full. Smiling down at the page, before looking back at him with a somewhat astonished look I dog eared the page before sliding it into the bottom of my bag, “No one else around here really reads anymore. At this point I thought I was the last one in the universe to do so. It….it would be nice to actually talk about reading with someone, though regretfully I just met Poe today so we are not quite as well acquainted as you two seem to be,” looking back up with a smirk and remembering my thermos I grab it out of my bag before lifting it up in offering. “Coffee? Its not quite hot anymore but it is probably still warm.”

With his ever wide smile, Ezra stepped up next to me as I slid my bag back into place and gave a small polite nod, “I would love to do nothing more than share what I am sure is the perfect brew with you, darling flower.”


	2. Lenore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! So not much to say here other thank you to everyone who read and enjoyed the first part. Also all future parts of this book, which is going to be 4 to 5 parts?, will be published on fridays or saturdays that way I have time to write them and have my ‘editor’ (sister) read through them! Anyway without further ado, Part 2!
> 
> Warnings: slight disability discrimination, AFAB reader, Erza laying charm on THICK

Life with Ezra on the farm was different. He was unlike any floater our family had employed before. Ezra had an air about him that just couldn’t be placed or replicated, and as much as I quite enjoyed everything that set him apart, Anthony and my father weren’t too keen on them. Ezra, for me at least, felt like a breath of fresh air after only being able to breathe in the stale air only found in the deepest of caves, or deep space which had been described to me by a previous floater. And the one-armed floater was refreshing to look at as well, with his easy smiles, plush lips, imperfectly perfect facial hair, eyes so dark that I could just get lost in them if he allowed me too, and his nose, Kevva above don’t get me started on just how badly I wanted to trace my finger down that beautifully accenting facial feature. 

After arriving home from the market with Ezra in tow that first Saturday, my father had sent me to go and sort through the day’s haul while he discussed a work arrangement with Ezra and showed him around the farm. I hadn’t seen much of Ezra the rest of the day until I had called everyone to dinner, which only led to Ezra profusely complimenting my cooking with his tongue twistingly colorful words before excusing himself for an early night’s rest. It was later as I finished washing the dishes that I heard my father’s first of many dissatisfied comments on the man. 

“That damned man is lucky we are so pressed for help. Any other situation and I wouldn’t have hired a loose-lipped man in his…  _ situation _ .”

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Things on the farm improved greatly with having another person around to help bear the heavy load of work. Ezra, despite my father’s reluctance and doubts in his abilities, worked harder and better than almost all of our previous hires. He woke early and worked late, doing just about anything that was asked of him, and all the while he kept his cheerful attitude. 

During the first week that Ezra was brought to the farm, we shared smiles over meals and chatted whenever we were working together. For that first week, I had decided to steer clear of sneaking into the now spare bedroom that Ezra currently occupied, but after a week of sharing glances at each other and only small talk when speaking amongst ourselves I was itching to have an actual conversation with the silver-tongued man. So later in the afternoon on the Sunday after his first week, I left a note asking for permission to come and visit him that night after everyone else had gone to bed. That night over dinner when he met my eyes across the table and gave a small nod with his signature crooked white smile I glanced down at my plate with a smile on my face knowing exactly what that nod had meant. 

After Ezra had given me his small nod, the evening seemed to have decided to drag on as much as possible. Ezra, per usual, retired to his room early while I went to start the dishes where I soon found out the meal I had prepared had chosen to be stubborn and stick to all of the plates and pans, and as a result, I spent a good chunk of my evening scrubbing until my wrist was the sore from overworking it. Hope that the evening would move quickly after that had been shot down almost immediately when I had walked from the kitchen only to have my father call me over so that we could go through finances and start making plans for the next season. As we sat at the table, papers spread around us, I kept finding my fingers drumming against the table in front of me in impatient worry, which I quickly stopped doing as soon as I realised, which only led to my leg to start bouncing minutes later from restlessness. So after yawning for the fourth time and noticing that the third of K-5’s moons was in the center of the sky my father finally decided to call it a night, and in my excitement, though I tried to hide it, I ushered him off to bed with promises of putting away the paperwork we had scattered across the table.

After rushing to put everything away while keeping it all organized and going to my room to grab my small book collection, I slowly and quietly crept towards the room where I hoped Ezra was still waiting for me, though I would have not blamed him in the least if he had given up or fell asleep waiting for me. So when I cracked the door enough to peek through and was met with Ezra jerking his head away from the window and his mouth splitting into a Cheshire grin as his eyes sparkling more than any star in the sky at that moment, I had to bite down on my bottom lip to keep myself from returning a grin just as broad as his as I slid through the door before closing it quietly.

“I must admit, flower, that I was damn well on the verge of losing hope that you would be visiting me tonight, but mark myself absolutely lucky that here you come sneaking into my room looking like an absolute  _ vision  _ in the light of the moons and stars,” the man whispered as I crept closer to sit on the cot across from the one that he had claimed and he combed his fingers through his hair in what seemed to be an attempt to smooth his unruly hair, though only succeeding in causing his white fluff to stick at and even more awkward angle. Having a small smile form on my lips along with a rosy tint on my cheeks from his flirtatious compliments, I met his eyes again and whispered a small sorry as I sat my books on the cot beside me. 

“Hear now, flower, you need not apologize to this gruff and weathered prospector. I would have stayed up all night if it meant that you would grace my presence if only long enough to bestow one of those darlin’ smiles in my direction. Now those smiles you think me lucky enough to see with my own weary eyes could keep me going for days, if not weeks, without needing any sort of sustenance.”

Giving him a quiet laugh and a shake of my head widening my smile, “I think you have soaked up every last bit of charm in the universe, Ezra, and as much as I enjoy it, you might want to charm some with the rest of us.”

“Oh but precious flower, you don’t know this but I have never been quite good at sharing, and if keeping ‘every last bit of charm in the universe’ to myself keeps your graceful beauty coming back to me, then I am going to harbor and collect every single bit of charm I can, like a dragon taken in by its golden hoard.”

Rolling my eyes at his silvery words I gave him a huff as a laugh and turned my head to change the subject trying to hide just how much his smooth words of flattery made me feel, “I, um, I brought the rest of my books. I thought you might want to read them, or maybe talk about them…”

Suddenly feeling nervous, I break eye contact and start picking at my nails. Books have always been my solace away from the dull reality of my world and my collection, though meager, meant everything to me. So offering them up to Ezra felt like I was offering him a small piece of my soul and if he said or did anything in a mocking or ridiculing manner, I feel like I could just crumble right where I sat from disappointment and embarrassment. Not only would any untoward words feel like a personal attack, but I wanted to impress this well-spoken man so badly and I couldn’t figure out why, though in all honesty I might have a small inkling as to why that I have yet to want to admit to myself. As usual though, when Ezra opened his mouth he did nothing but fill my chest with warmth with his flowery words.

“I would like to think you have quite the library started here, flower,” reaching over to grab the books only to stop and look to me for permission, only to continue with a small nod of my head. “Now let’s see  _ Pride and Prejudice _ ? Now that is a lovely read, I always quite liked how Ms. Austen wrote the women in her elegant novels, especially given the time she was writing in. And let’s see  _ Frankenstein,  _ now this a book that I have heard nothing but praises for but have yet to be able to get my hands… hand on. Now last but certainly not least  _ The Hobbit _ , now this is a true story of wonder, Mr. Tolkien sure did have quite the imagination having been able to create a whole new world with history, languages, peoples, and oh so much more. The man was a true genius if I am inclined to give my own opinion. I very much enjoyed his accompanying stories about Bilbo’s young nephew as well.”

After scanning over each book precariously he looked back to me with eyes so soft that I think even kitten’s fur couldn’t compare. As I met his gaze with my own I tasted a slight tinge on my tongue and realized that this entire time I had been chewing on my bottom lip in worry and anticipation. Giving a small smile Ezra reached across the small gap between the cots we were sitting on and brushed his thumb over my bottom lip, “Darlin’ flower, that, if I might say, is a terrible habit you seemed to have picked up and I must suggest you break it in anyway imaginable. I don’t think my heart could take seeing any of your delicate petals harmed in any way.”

His hand pulled away just as quickly as it appeared and I let out a stuttering breath I had not realized I had been holding in, my eyes still wide and watching him from the shock of the such intimate feeling act. Without missing a beat though, Ezra leans back and grins at me though it had a softer edge now. 

“I have to ask, flower. How are you enjoying Poe? I know I told you that I didn’t much care for him, but I have been waiting with absolute bated breath to hear what your opinion of the eccentric man is...”

As the night continued to get later and later, the two of us discussed Poe and his stories, having admitted to Ezra that I had not yet finished reading the poetry section of the book, because in all truth I have not been able to progress past the poem he had recited to me on our first meeting, having read it several times at this point. Though I did not admit that to him. As the night neared dawn I took my leave after gathering my books and as I headed towards the door I found myself stopping and turning around and scurrying over to Ezra, who looked at me with slight confusion in his eyes, and I pushed my tattered copy of  _ Frankenstein _ to his chest before spinning around and fleeing back to my bedroom. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

After that first Sunday night, Ezra and I had quickly settled into a routine of having weekly meetings on the Sunday nights following our first. I found myself looking forward to our meetings each week more and more as the days progressed. Slowly over time and as our meetings grew in number, Ezra and I grew closer as friends, but also physically. After almost a month of our secret sunday meetings, we had gone from sitting across from one another on different cots to sharing Ezra’s cot. 

Though the cots were small I found myself not minding when we would accidentally brush against one another, if anything everytime it happened I felt my heart skip a beat or my breath catch in my throat. As our closeness grew, I found that Ezra’s touches grew in number as well. The touches though were never much, but unlike the accidental brushes of our hands or knees as we talked, these touches were more deliberate much like when he had ran his thumb across my bottom lip that first night. Ezra would often reach out and push hair behind my ear as soon as it had fallen in my face or as I talked animatedly about something, more often than not one of my books, he would reach out and trace one of his fingers along my hand, wrist and arm. Those were my favorite of his touches, because they were gentle and soft as he ran a finger around the palm of my hand before moving slowly to my wrist where he would focus on drawing figure eights and other shapes before moving on to my forearm where he would just run his finger up and down, occasionally stopping and tracing letters onto my skin, though I’m not sure if he ever actually spells anything because I get too caught up in the feeling of his rough calloused finger tip against my softer forearms and inner wrist. Everytime he runs his finger along one of my arms I always find it hard to continue with what I am telling him because his soft touch paired with his soft but passionate gaze always seems to throw my train of thought off its rails, but I push through and struggle to continue if only for the fear that if I stop talking he will pull his hand away from mine. 

Things between Ezra and I just continued to progress as the two of us grew more and more comfortable around each other. Most Sunday nights were filled with book talk or Ezra telling stories of adventures he had been on, though I could only assume the man liked to exaggerate in his story telling as I could not believe that some of the things he had described had actually happened to him. After a while we had even added reading to each other into the mix of things we did some nights, and these quickly became my favorite nights, even though I loved Ezra’s stories, Ezra’s voice as he read had a certain pull to it that caused me to be drawn closer to him every time. On the nights where we read to each other we always ended up touching. When Ezra read I always ended up drifting slowly towards him until I was laying my head on his shoulder looking down at whatever book he held and was reading from. While on the other hand, when I read to Ezra he, unlike me, who slowly moved until we touch, immediately got comfortable on his cot before moving his legs and pulling me to sit between them before resting his chin on my shoulder. He, in a much longer and dramatic way, told me that he liked to be able to read along the page with me and this position was the best to do that. Those nights he also tended to grab my left hand and play with my fingers and trace my palm as we read. 

It wasn’t until one of the nights I was reading to him that I let myself finally realise just how much this man meant to me and just how much I was really starting to care for him. It was when he stopped me from reading “Lenore” by Edgar Allan Poe to discuss the part of the poem I had just read and I turned to look at him as he spoke that I was just hit with the need to hold him close and not let him go. 

When it was time for me to sneak back to my room, I placed the book I had been reading from onto my stack of books that now resided underneath Ezra’s cot. Turning I found Ezra standing next to the door and gave him a smile as I slowly and quietly padded over to where he stood and once I reached him, he grabbed my hand and intertwined our fingers together. We stood like that for a few seconds, quiet and not talking with tension growing between the two of us, until I reached my other hand to his face, hesitating only for a second, before placing it on his cheek and brushing my thumb across his cheek bone. Moving my eyes from from where my thumb was moving across his cheek to his eyes I felt as if the wind had been knocked out of me from the intensity of his gaze. Without realizing it until his nose bumped into mine, that I became aware of just how close Ezra and I’s faces had drifted together, and as I felt myself bite the inside of my lip Ezra broke the silence, though it was so quiet I hadn’t realized he had spoken until I found myself responding.

“Flower, I must admit that I have dreamed and thought constantly about what those beautifully flushed lips would feel like brushing against my own, and I must ask. Please if you would grant any wish of mine, delicate flower, would you please allow me to feel the heaven that I am sure would be your lips upon mine,” as he asked I could feel every word because of our closeness more than actually heard them. Ezra’s eyes never left my own as he spoke, looking back and forth between them, studying them and waiting for my response. Closing my eyes, I released my bottom lip and nodded giving him a breathless yes, before he gently pressed our lips together. The first kiss was quite chaste, but when we pulled apart it only took Ezra a second move his lips back onto mine to drag them into a more passionate kiss. It was through this kiss that I felt and realised that Ezra had grown to care for me in much the same way as I cared for him. It was after we pulled away from that kiss as the need to breath became more of a priority, that he'd pulled away from me with a soft smile and he moved to open the door so that I could make the short journey back to my room. As I slipped through the door I couldn’t help but to grab his face again and press another short kiss to his lips before moving into the shadows of the hallway. 

That night as I walked to my room I was only able to move in muscle memory as my mind was preoccupied with what had just happened. As I moved down the hallways it felt like I was floating rather than walking, the entire time I could only reminisce over how Ezra’s lips had felt against mine. And even after I reached my room and crawled into bed, my mind refused to think about anything other than the man that felt so close yet so far. I couldn’t draw myself away from the memory of just how right his lips had felt brushing against mine. I couldn’t think of anything but the feel of his mustache tickling my upper lip as his lips rough, much like his hands, lips had gently glided over mine with such care and adoration. I couldn’t bring myself to think about anything other than the thought that the kisses we had shared felt like no other kiss or intimacy that I had experienced with anyone else. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you for taking the time to read my think of garbage I call writing. All comments and kudos are loved dearly, and any mistakes please point them out to me, please! Love you guys and I hope you enjoyed!!!
> 
> cross posted to tumblr: fandom-blackhole
> 
> Erza Spotify Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2eWbL7hVV9D1aANtAiw0HD?si=XrWl1EBkRDiTeKH9tW9U8Q


	3. Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say this time, just sorry for this part being a little late and not as long as the other two, migraines are a bitch! To make up for the chapter being short I am going to write up a few headcanons that fit into this universe and post them at some point before the next part. Also, PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS!!! This chapter is mainly angst!!
> 
> Warnings: CUSSING, discrimination against disability, verbal abuse, description of a panic attack, mentions of death and injury

After our first kiss Ezra and I couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves; to the point where I was convinced that Ezra might be even more touch starved than I was. I was no blushing virgin, but I wasn’t far from it, though. I of course had had a handful of relationships in the past, but those only went so far, each of them either leaving me and K-5 to explore the universe or they had faked interest only to get what they wanted before leaving. I may have not been in many relationships, but I knew that Ezra was completely different from everyone. Ezra, whenever we touched, always handled me like I was a delicate bird that might fly away with any wrong move, whereas everyone else I had been with just took what they had wanted from me with little care to what I wanted. Ezra also treated me with respect, he never acted as if I was lesser than him because of my apparent lack of knowledge or experience in the world, nor did he act as if he was above me because of our slight age difference or because of the fact that I was female. Ezra, for as much as he loved to talk and hear himself talk, would actually sit and listen to me when I would rant about this or that, even giving his input here and there as needed, but he never once interrupted me. And he  _ listened  _ to me. He actually listened and remembered things I had mentioned, no matter how small. Some days it felt like he remembered everything I have ever said to him. 

The first time I actually realized just how closely Ezra paid attention to me was when, one week I described a certain species of wildflowers that grew on K-5 that I absolutely loved and how I hadn’t seen them in a long time and how much I missed their sweet scent. The next week when I opened my copy of  _ Pride and Prejudice,  _ after I had gotten comfortable curled up on the cot with Ezra, a cluster of the very familiar small purple and white flowers fell into my lap, and as I had turned the pages of the book more and more of the branches fell into my lap to the point where I had a decent collection of the flowers. I still haven't figured out when he had had time to go and search for the flowers or how he had found them.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

As the weeks progressed after that first kiss, the need to see each other more grew and before we knew it our weekly sunday meetings turned into meeting three times a week. Now meeting on tuesday and friday nights as well, we spent more time talking than reading, having read through the books a handful of times together. We, most nights, just held each other and whispered little things about ourselves back and forth between small sweet kisses that left everything else tasting bland in comparison. Through these whispered conversations I had learned that Ezra’s snowy white fluff that I loved running my fingers through was a birthmark that had apparently frighted everyone in the delivery room when he had been born, and the shiny crescent scar gracing his cheek underneath his eye was from a courtyard brawl at a school Ezra had attended over a game that he had very clearly cheated to win. It was in those whispered moments that I told Ezra about Joshua and how I hoped to see him again at some point, and I spoke of what I knew of my mother. Though Ezra was opening up to me more and more as time passed, there was one thing he never brought up and I never pushed. Ezra, for all of his capabilities, seemed to steer clear of anything that seemed like it might result in talking about his arm, or there lack of. That was until tonight, a night roughly a little over halfway through his stay on the farm- around month four of six, not that I was counting. 

Tonight, for some reason or another, when I had snuck into his room he had taken my hand kissed my knuckles, then my cheek and nose, before kissing my lips with a kiss that just stole the breathe from my lungs. After he had pulled away, and gave me a small smile, we had gotten onto his cot, me with my back to the wall and Ezra on his back with his head resting on my crossed legs. He was being uncharacteristically quiet and after a long silence, just as I was opening my mouth to break it, he finally spoke up and with a faraway look in his eyes. Ezra as he spoke started describing the events he had lived through on what he called the Green Moon. He took his time describing the gems he was mining on the toxic moon, and just how temperamental the extraction process was for them. 

As he continued to speak of the moon with disdain and disgust his hand sought one of mine and he held it as if it was his only lifeline almost like he was scared that if he didn’t anchor himself here with me he might be transported right back onto the moon he very obviously hated. Ezra spoke steadily about what happened before he stopped and his eyes made direct eye contact with mine, now clear and very much in the present, and he seemed like he was contemplating continuing, before took a singular deep breathe and gripped my hand tighter, almost to the point where it should have been painful. 

He then, without breaking eye contact, spoke of an altercation he and his partner had had with a man and his daughter. He continued slowly describing everything all the while seemingly trying to gage my reaction. At this point, I had figured just how important it was for Ezra to tell this story without any interruptions, no matter how shocking some of the things he told me were. I tried to keep my face neutral, only watching him and rubbing small circles on his wrist with my thumb to encourage him to keep speaking. The only time I showed emotion was when he had described a group of people on the moon who had tried to buy the young girl, Cee or little bird as he affectionately called her more often than not, to which I couldn’t stop the gasp that left my lips. He had only stopped for a second giving me a small sad smile before pushing on to get through the rest of the memories. He sped through losing his arm, obviously not wanting to linger on the still very obvious sore and painful subject, and just like when talking about Cee’s father, Ezra spoke slowly and softly of what Cee and he had done to get off the cursed moon. When he had finished, he kept my hand tightly gripped in his, but he wouldn’t look at me, like even though he had faced down death and danger he was terrified of me and my reaction. 

We stayed quiet like that for a long while, until the time for me to go back to my room grew nearer and nearer. Taking a deep breathe and using my free hand I moved his face so that he had no other choice than to look up at me and I spoke up for the first time that night, “Oh Ezra, I wish you hadn’t had to go through that. And I hope you don’t think that what you told me is going to change how I feel about you. You did what you had to do to survive and I have no place to fault you for that, if anything I love you even more for it, because if you hadn’t done any of it I would have never met you and you would have never changed my life for the better…”

As I had spoken, I hadn’t paid as much attention to what was slipping through my lips, and through tiredness and the need to comfort Ezra, my true feelings had slipped through without me noticing. Though I may not have realized what I had said Ezra most certainly did and his hand loosened slightly in mine from the shock. Watching my eyes, he waited until I had trailed off before he, still in the soft tone he was using earlier, spoke up, “Did you mean it, flower? Do you truly l….do you truly love this old, sinful prospector?”

In all honesty, up until the word had left his mouth I myself had not realized that, yes, I was completely and utterly taken with this man. I knew I cared for him, but as soon as he repeated the word I had unknowingly said myself I knew that it was the exact emotion that flowed through me when it came to Ezra. And hearing Ezra say it out loud stole the very oxygen from my blood and caused warmth to spread through my cheeks and chest. All the while Ezra continued to stare up at me earnestly waiting for my reply, which came in the form of a nod, and a breathy. “Yes, Ezra. I do believe that I have fallen completely in love with yo-,” and before I even had the chance to finish my sentence he had moved his hand to the back of my neck and pulled my head down far enough to crash his lips against mine. The kiss was awkward from the position of our heads, and it was messy and rough from the needy way in which Ezra kept my head pulled down, but the kiss was still pleasurable in the way that I could feel just what and how much emotion Ezra was pouring into the kiss. 

I could tell you that those precious few moments I hold close to my heart, knowing that at that time I had Ezra’s full trust and love and he had mine. They were but a few minutes of blissful happiness before reality came barging through the door with a loud bang. I remember things happening almost in slow motion. I faintly remember gasping and pulling away from Ezra before whipping my head towards the bedroom door, where I caught sight of my father standing with a furious look on his face, eyes meeting mine for only a split second before my line of sight was blocked by Ezra’s lower back. I’m still not completely sure how Ezra had managed to move so quickly, but he had managed to jump up from where he had been laying on the cot and wedged himself between myself and my father, raising his hand in a way that looked like he was trying to calm a spooked animal. 

Overcoming my initial shock, I stood from the cot and peeked over Ezra’s left shoulder, now seeing that my father’s rage had been directed straight onto Ezra. The three of us stood in silence for what felt like forever, the entire time tension in the room seemed to only grow. I watched as my father tightened his hands into fist and grit his teeth, before glancing back over Ezra’s shoulder and looking at me and taking another step into the room. Terrified my hands moved to grip the back of Ezra’s loose shirt, and he moved his hand from where he had had it positioned in front of him to curl it around his back, to keep me safely behind him. Ezra, while quiet, seemed to be gaging and measuring the situation laid before him. My father clenched and unclenched his jaw a few times before he opened his mouth and snarled out, “I should have  _ known _ better than to think my daughter wouldn’t be taken in with all that fake ass charm you reek of, and I should have known that you would try and take advantage of the naive girl.”

All I could do was flinch at his words and curl my fingers tighter in Ezra’s shirt as I moved to hide my face in between his shoulder blades, fighting back the tears that were sure to start falling any second. I could feel Ezra taking in a breathe to speak, but he was cut off by my father as he took another step towards the two of us.

“Oh for fuck's sake keep your mouth shut for  _ once _ . You’re goddamn lucky that I need your help or else there’d be a thrower shot between your eyes right now. But just because I need you doesn’t mean I can’t make your life hell until you leave. I gave you a fucking job when I shouldn't have, and here you are trying to use my daughter as a quick lay. Grab your shit, your sleeping in the barn, from now on you’re not stepping foot inside this fucking house. Anthony will bring you your meals and you won’t be around my daughter for even a second until that ship comes and takes your crippled ass away from my farm.”

I couldn't help but to gasp at my father’s words, and though it was not verbal I could feel Ezra growl at them as his hand fisted the side of my shirt, much like mine which were starting to ache from the force of staying clenched so tightly. Things stayed still for a second, before my father started speaking again, getting angry that Ezra hadn’t moved he growled out my name, causing me to jump, “Get the fuck over here, now. For Kevva’s sake girl, you think you would learn after all this time, but no you’re just as fucking stubborn as Joshua, just as fantasical. You know where that got him? Fucking dead. Now come to your senses and get away from this idiotic floater before he causes you anymore harm than I’m already sure he's already done.”

His words now felt as if he had actually fired his thrower at me and he had struck me in the heart. I felt my fingers loosen in Ezra’s shirt and the world felt as if it had been turned sideways. All I could hear was ringing, I hadn’t heard all that my father had said, only processing what he had blurted out about my brother. I suddenly couldn’t breathe or control myself. I only knew that I had fallen to the floor, purely because of the pain that shot up through my knees from the harsh landing. I couldn’t focus on anything but my father’s voice repeating Joshua’s fate around my head. I was sure that the tears I had been successfully holding back were now pouring down my face at this point, and I was starting to feel sick to my stomach. Very quickly my vision started to swim and turn dark around the edges, not that I was processing what my eyes were looking at anyway. The last thing I could remember before things turned black, was a frantic voice saying my name and I looked up to see Ezra being pushed out of the room by my father, though not very successfully from how hard Ezra seemed to be fighting him. For a split second our eyes met and he said my name again, and I started to raise my hand towards him and whispered out a broken almost unrecognizable whisper of his name before my world and everything in it turned black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed, and if you have anything you would like me to put into the headcanons that I will be posting, or just any questions, don’t be afraid to leave a comment! As always all kudos and comments are welcomed! I hope everyone has a great week!


	4. Villians and Knights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 4 is here!! This week has been hectic, again, so I am sorry that the headcannons never got published, but they will at some point! Anyway I hope you enjoy!!
> 
> Warnings: AFAB reader, descriptions of depression, mentions of death, ATTEMPTED ASSAULT, slight nudity, cleaning (bc cleaning sucks)

The days and weeks following the night in the spare bedroom of the house just passed in a numb blur. Everything had happened that night so quickly that I hadn’t really processed what all had actually gone down in that tiny room until about days later. The first three days I couldn’t tell you anything that had happened, I had purely just been moving on auto-pilot stuck in my head; one thing that I could tell you though is that I didn’t once step out of the house, and barely left my room. My father refused to look at me for at least a week, let alone talk to me in any way. Mealtimes were tense and full of food that just didn’t carry any flavor any more. A few times Anthony had tried to talk to me, but for every word, he said I could only see his mouth moving and for every glance, I gave him only made me see and think of Joshua. Anthony for all his faults knew that I was suffering and he was trying to bring me back from the numb state that I seemed to be stuck in. He started making small comments about something Ezra had said to him during the day’s work after offering to help with the dishes or he would occasionally walk into the house for glasses of water for him, dad, and Ezra and would motion out the window where I would find Ezra himself standing just far enough away that he could meet my eyes and give me a small smile. Anthony even allowed me to make the plates that he took out to the barn for Ezra, and upon returning with the empty plate he would quote Ezra’s praise for the food with an eye roll, trying to act like he didn’t care or was annoyed; he always failed. Though, because he never failed to bring a small smile to my face, which in turn caused him to smile, and for a moment things would feel ok, but it never lasted long.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

After that first week of being away from Ezra, I couldn’t take it anymore and I snuck into the spare room and sat on the cot he had been using, my legs crossed and my hands in my lap picking at the skin surrounding my nails. As I sat there I took in the room before me, I couldn’t stop the tears that fell down my cheeks in what seemed to be an endless river. Nothing in the room was out of place, everything where it had originally been placed, and all the cots were made. The room looked as if Ezra had not even been here and that only served to make me cry harder, but as I looked down and moved one of my hands to muffle a sob I noticed something small on the floor that  _ was  _ out of place and didn’t belong. Standing up slowly, I wrapped my arms around my middle as I slowly made my way over to the small sprig that laid on the floor. As I knelt to pick it up I knew instantly that it was part of the handful of flowers that Ezra had pressed into the pages of my copy of  _ Pride and Prejudice.  _ The flowers’ small puffy round white and purple petals still as vibrant and fragrant as the day they had fallen into my lap. 

Feeling my legs start to get wobbly from the emotions the small flowers had pushed over me, I clutched the small branch of dried petals and walked back to Ezra’s old cot, this time laying down with the tears freely flowing down my cheeks. Curling into myself, I held the fragile flowers perhaps too roughly to my chest, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. 

Eventually, my crying slowed to a stop. Exhausted I couldn’t bring myself to move, more than to pull the blanket over me and bury my head in a pillow that still faintly smelled like Ezra. That night I fell asleep on the small uncomfortable cot still clutching the flowers to my chest and wishing that Ezra’s scent that still clung to the blanket and pillow was stronger, or that the man himself was there to hold me and whisper into my ear lovingly in his sweet lilting accent. 

As I slept, for the first time in the week I had not been near the man my heart longed for, I was able to actually sleep peacefully, without waking several times aching for the man I couldn’t reach.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

After that first night that I had fallen asleep in the spare room on Ezra’s old cot, I couldn’t help myself but continue to sneak into the room every few days, each time falling asleep on the same cot. The pillow and blanket had lost Ezra’s scent after a couple of weeks of me sleeping there, instead taking on my own scent. Even though all traces of him were missing from the room, I couldn’t help but to continue to sneak into the room. 

After his scent had faded from the blanket, I found myself wrapping myself in the blanket anyway and looking out the window he had often looked out of. Instead of looking to the stars as he often had done, I watched the barn, or more specifically the hayloft where I knew he to be resting. Each night I watched and I not once seen so much as a flicker of movement or light, but the thought that he was close by brought me a little comfort, even if it was shortly washed away by the melancholy of the knowledge that I could not go to him. I found myself, as I watched the hayloft for any sign of Ezra, nervously chewing on my bottom lip to the point that I tasted the coppery coiling taste of my own blood on my tongue.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

My father’s plan of keeping me just doing housework and my weekly Saturday town visits didn’t last very long. In fact, it only lasted roughly three weeks before he needed the extra set of hands, and much to his dismay he allowed me out of the house. He still found ways to keep Ezra and I from crossing paths as we worked, always sending one of us to do work away from the other, and always trying to keep me working within eyesight of himself. 

Being outside again felt lovely. I hadn’t realized just how much I missed doing work in the field until I had stopped completely. And even though I wasn’t out in the field with Anthony, my father, and Ezra often, I still enjoyed when it was necessary, because it meant that I was closer to Ezra again after weeks apart. It seemed as if things had completely restarted to the way they were going before I left the note for Ezra to find that first night. Though things seemed to have progressed even further back than that, at least before there had been small talk and small touches. Now we were only able to share short meaningful glances at the other, and only heard the other’s voice as we spoke to anyone but each other. At this point, I ached to be held by Ezra and feel his calloused fingers tracing my arm again, and from the glances, he sent my way I could only imagine he felt similar, though neither one of us seemed ready to make any moves that might cause us to be separated completely again. 

Roughly two months out from harvest time, my father decided that we needed another pair of hands since he had limited my work. As a solution, he had gone to Mrs. Robertson and asked to borrow her eldest son, Tucker, the son she and my father had been trying to set up with me for the last year and a half with no success. Tucker was a hard worker and was a nice enough guy, but he had a tendency to make me uncomfortable and he always was trying different ways to get the two of us alone. My father and Mrs. Robertson seemed to both believe that Tucker was just taken with me, but I wasn’t convinced from the interactions we had had. 

The first few days of Tucker being on the farm were calm and moved slowly. When working together with him I always kept up my guard and only spoke with him when necessary and keeping my words short and to the point. Tucker stayed civil and for once didn’t seem to be pushing to get me alone, and I thought that he was finally starting to realize that I wasn’t interested in him. As my guard started to come down, I started to notice that Ezra tended to glance in my direction more now that Tucker was there, almost like he was checking on me, scared that when he wasn’t watching Tucker would take me away. Each time I caught Ezra’s eyes as he looked over at me I started to send him small smiles that I could only hope to express my love for him and not Tucker. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

Things were slow and anticlimatic the first week with Tucker, even with Ezra’s tense glances in my direction every time I had to work with him. As the next week rolled around things started much the same as the previous week. But, as seemed to be the new pattern in my life, as I was finally getting back into the groove of things, even without Ezra’s closeness, things went downhill, and quickly.    
  


It was halfway through the week and not much needed to be done with the harvest, so my father had sent me to the barn to do some light cleaning and sorting. The barn, which hadn’t really been cleaned in over a year, needed more than the light cleaning that he had told me to do which caused me to sigh loudly, but there was nothing to do but this so I just got to work. We had never really had animals on our farm besides a clutch of chickens at one point so there weren’t any animals to clean up after, only old tools that need to be cleaned and sorted. I had decided early into the process to start at the back of the barn and make my way to the front as I worked. If I did things right, cleaning the barn would take all day to finish, but I wasn’t going to complain if it meant that I could work alone, away from Tucker and my father, for the first time in days. 

Moving quickly, I was almost halfway through the sorting through the tools scattered around the barn when I heard footsteps outside of the entrance to the barn. I didn’t pay much attention to them, figuring my father had sent Anthony for water for the four of them working in the field. Humming I bent over to pick up a wrench to throw into the toolbox a few feet away, I felt someone grab me from behind. I could only gasp in surprise as I was pushed completely into the dirt floor of the barn, the wrench still in my hand, though it was ripped from my grasp before I could realize what was happening. Shortly after I heard the wrench being thrown away from my reach, I felt someone’s breath on the back of my neck one of their hands held the back of my head, keeping my face in the dirt and the other gripping my waist harshly. As soon as I got over my initial surprise I started to try and fight back, squirming as much as I could in the person’s grasp only to have them lift my head up by my hair and then slam it into the dirt hard enough for me to see stars, but not enough to really hurt me or knock me unconscious. After the person slammed my head down the finally spoke up, though it was hardly above a whisper as they breathed out my name into my ear, “Hush now, we don’t want dear old daddy to come running and find you like this now do we?”

As the person spoke I couldn’t do anything but whimper and close my hands into fists as I realized just who had me pinned. Tucker. I couldn’t say I was surprised by any means, but that didn’t change the fact that I was scared out of my mind, and mentally berating myself for letting my guard down enough that he was able to pin me down before I could so much as react. He whispered my name into my ear again before pulling back and speaking a little louder, “Now this is how this is gonna go sweet cheeks. I have been trying to get you alone for what feels like an eternity, but you have always managed to escape me every time, but not this time. No, this time I have you, and you’re going to do everything I say. Now first things first I want you to flip over and take that shirt you’re wearing off, and then we’ll work on getting that fabric off your pretty little bottom.”

As he spoke Tucker flipped me over so that I could see his sick smirk and lustful eyes looking down at me. Disgusted, I went to reach up and claw at his face with my nails, but it was like he had expected it so before my hands had come anywhere near him, he used the hand that wasn’t clutching the bottom of my shirt to smack me across the cheek, hard enough that it sure was going to leave a mark and the sound had echoed around the barn. I felt tears start to stream down my face as he ripped off my shirt far from gently before one of his hands moved to pin both of my hands above my head and the other moved to grope my breast roughly over my bra. Crying now to the point that I was hiccupping and sobbing, he moved his hand down towards my bottoms before harshly whispering, “If you don’t shut that pretty little mouth up, I’ll do it for you, now  _ stop it.” _

I felt helpless as I tried to struggle against him and get free, or at least stop his assault, but that only caused him to grip my wrists tighter to the point where his nails were digging into my skin, which caused me to whimper loudly and ask him to stop through choke out sobs. As I got louder he quickly moved his hand from my waistband to clutch harshly at my neck, “I said be quiet you little fucking slut.”

Gasping harshly for air, I noticed a shadow quietly approaching where I had been pinned to the floor, and right as I felt that I was going to pass out from lack of oxygen I felt Tucker being dragged off of me. At that point, I didn’t care who my rescuer was, as I rolled onto my side and gasped for air as spots danced in my eyes and my ears were ringing. It took me a few seconds but I was able to regain my breath and glance over to where the person who had saved me had pinned Tucker to the floor of the barn and was from the looks of it beating him to a pulp. Once my hearing came back I was also able to make out low mutterings and curses every few words. As I crawled closer I started to recognize the man, whose back was to me. 

I watched stunned for a few seconds, tears still falling down my cheeks, as Ezra’s arm kept swing at Tucker’s face, even after he had gone limp. After shaking off the shock I finally crawled over close enough that I could place my hand on Ezra’s shoulder and hoarsely whispered, “Ez, please stop, you’re going to kill him...”

Ezra, for all the brutality, that he had just shown, turned his head gently and looked into my eyes softly as he touched his forehead to mine, even as he still knelt of Tucker’s unconscious body, “My beautiful sweet flower, he deserves to be taken away from this mortal realm if he thought for even a second to harm your graceful beauty if he thought that he could touch you even as you  _ cried _ and struggled against him. No, my precious flower, he needs to pay.”

Ezra after saying those words went to turn back to Tucker, but I placed my hand on his cheek before his head could even more away from mine and whispered out his name softly as new tears sprung to my eyes, “Please...don’t do this, just….just…”

“Just what flower? Ask and I will do it for you. Anything for you,” Ezra’s eyes met mine with a new intensity as he spoke. Fully crying now and not trusting my voice I just wrapped my arms around him and pulled him away from Tucker to the corner of the barn a few feet away. Ezra, the smart man that he is, instantly picked up on what I wanted, and even though he still seemed to be thrumming with anger and adrenalin, he pulled me the rest of the way into the corner where he allowed me to curl up into his lap as he stroked my hair with his bloody hand and whispered loving to me. We sat there like that for a few minutes before I finally calmed down and looked up at him. It was obvious now that as Ezra had been in a blind rage Tucker had managed to fight back, at least a little, as a purple bruise was starting to form on the underside of his chin, and his shirt was torn in some places. Softly brushing my fingers over the new bruise I followed it with a kiss and a watery smile as I whispered, “I never thought I would have my own knight in shining armor…”

Laughing soft Ezra shook his head and placed his forehead against mine once again, “Oh flower, I am anything but a knight in shining armor. I am far from the virtuous men who did nothing but good for the ones they loved and their kings. While they had a code and rules they still followed, I would throw every last one of my morals, or what is left of them, if it meant that you were safe and unharmed. I am sorry delicate flower that I was not here to stop him sooner….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thank you for reading, and any and all kudos and comments are really appreciated! If I have this planned correctly there will be two more parts, and possibly some short side stories I might add! Anyway have a lovely weekend!


	5. Pleasures of the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a bit of waiting here it is!!!! Part 5! I really love this chapter, so much so that I haven’t really edited it because I wanted to share it with you guys lol. So if you see something that doesn’t look right please tell me! Love you guys and I hope you like this chapter!
> 
> Warnings: AFAB reader, descriptions of depression, mentions of attempted assault, this chapter gets a little spicy at the end so 18+ just to be safe?, that’s it we are back to fluff lol

According to the town doctor, Ezra had managed to break Tucker’s nose, two of his teeth, and fracture one of his eyesockets, while he himself on managed to get a bruised jaw, and swollen bloody and bruised fist. I, on the other hand, only suffered from a bruised forehead and cheek, miscellaneous scratches, and a bloody nose. 

It had only taken about fifteen minutes before Anthony had been sent by my father to go looking for Tucker and Ezra. When he found the three of us, I am sure the scene in the barn was quite a shock. I wish I could say that I had seen his face when he realized what he was looking at, but by the time he had made his way to the back of the barn I had buried my face into Ezra’s neck as he held me and rocked us both trying to calm me down. I had heard Anthony coming, but I was too scared to look up, only clutching at Ezra’s torn shirt. 

I did nothing but cling to Ezra as he told Anthony what he had stumbled upon and what he had done, spitting venomous words in Tucker’s direction and holding me close. Anthony didn’t say much and he only really grabbed my shirt that had been thrown aside and brought it towards where we both sat in the corner. Anthony had placed my shirt gently in my lap and gave me a small kiss on the top of my head, which in turn caused me to start crying again, and he then went and grabbed Tucker’s legs and dragged him out of the barn telling the two of us to that he was going to get father. 

Ezra had slowly helped me to my feet and into my shirt, before grabbing my face and kissing the tears from my cheeks. Then he lead me from the barn slowly with his hand resting on the small of my back as my arms crossed across my torso holding myself tightly, my eyes not leaving the ground. 

The rest of the day passed in pretty much a blur. I barely remember the doctor coming for a visit, I don’t remember how I got to the house, let alone into my room, and I don’t remember when I fell asleep. 

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Once again I found myself staying in the house doing small tasks away from the others. The difference, though, was this time it was self imposed. I just couldn’t find it in me to make my way outside and be around the others. Especially knowing that I wouldn’t be able to interact with Ezra in the way that I wanted too, the way I needed too. So instead, I stayed inside and cleaned things that didn’t need to be cleaned, organized things that were already organzied, and cooked meals. I threw myself into anything that could distract me from the events that felt like had left a scar on my very soul. I felt broken and dirty, even though I knew that nothing had really happened. But, the thoughts and feelings of uselessness just wouldn’t fade and the crept into my every waking moment. 

The only good that had come from the whole situation was that my father had taken to letting Ezra eat with the rest of us again. It was only then, when Ezra sat across from me with his easy smile and flourishing words that I would truely feel safe, and those thoughts that refused to leave me alone would fade to a static in the back of my head. Instead they were replaced with Ezra speaking openly as Anthony asked him questions, and my head was only full of the the sight of Ezra’s soft obsidian eyes swirling with the galaxies and stars he had seen on his adventures and his soft oddly soothing accented voice. My father always stayed quiet during meals only eating and maybe giving a small grunt if asked a question. My father even stayed quiet as each night Ezra would softly ask about my day and how I was feeling. 

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Things weren’t okay, but things were finally getting better.

Roughly two weeks after everything had happened with Tucker I had managed to get myself to do the laundry. What had finally pushed me to fill the tub with steaming water and get the soaps out was when I noticed that Ezra had been wearing the same clothes for the at least last three days if not longer.

It had taken all morning to get all of my father’s and Anthony’s clothes clean and hung onto the clothes line beside the house. After a short water break, I got to work on my clothes all the while keeping an eye out and taking note of any clothes that needed mended. My father had a couple of shirts with small tears along the seam, Anthony per usual had managed to tear the pockets on his pants and was missing a button on one of his shirts, while I only had a small tear on the back of my favorite shirt from where it had caught a lose nail.

Once I had hung my clothes to dry, I reached for Ezra’s to place them in the tub only to stop short. Ezra, when we had walked from town to the farm, had only been carrying a small sack in which he only could hold two or three pairs of clothes, at  _ most _ . Looking at the shirt in my hand now, I was surprised the shirt was still in one piece. The shirt was thread bare from what I could only assume was years of use, it had several holes running along the bottom part of the left sleeve as well as wear on the right, and a few along the bottom hem in the front. The other shirt he had in there was worse for wear, having a huge tear near the neck from the fight with Tucker. The pants weren’t much better, the knees rubbed thin from years of kneeling on rough surfaces and the cuffs were scuffed and held several holes of varying sizes, not to mention the sizable hole that was in the crotch of the pants, that only served to turn my face red once I had noticing it, and caused me to wonder how he had managed to hide the hole without anyone noticing. 

I washed Ezra’s clothes carefully with a frown, not wanting to cause more harm, all the while trying my best to remove as many stains as possible. As I was hanging the tattered clothes on the clothes line next to mine I couldn’t help but to wonder when the last time Ezra had bought himself new clothes, because it was obvious on both shirts that he had them both when he still had his other arm. 

Shaking my head, I smoothed my hand over the shirt I had just washed with a sad smile before an idea caused me to hurriedly clean up the washing tub and put away the soaps quickly. Once back in the house I went to my room and grabbed my small sewing kit, as well as my button tin placing them onto my bed, before turning to my dresser and biting my bottom lip.

When my father had finally figured out that Joshua had left the farm for good he had gone into a blind rage and had made the decision to remove and sell everything he had left behind in his room. He started with the bigger things like his bed and the small desk he had made himself for Joshua. Then he got rid of the small dresser and all of Joshua’s small little nick nacks. When all that was left was Joshua’s clothes my father had marched out of the house and made a bonfire towards the back of the farm. When I had realized what he was doing, I had grabbed what I could without it being obvious and had hid them in the bottom of my dresser under my underclothes, knowing that my father would never look in that drawer.

Now, I reach inside and grab the three shirts, two long sleeved and one t-shirt, and a pair cargo pants. The shirts, while they didn’t have holes, it was obvious that they were second hand, as they each had their own signs of wear, but they were each still in much better condition than what Ezra owned now. 

Turning to my bed, with my lip still between my teeth I gently laid the clothes onto my bed before taking a deep breath and getting to work. It hurt slightly knowing that by doing this I was erasing some of the few reminders of Joshua I still had in my life, but I knew in my heart that this more important than letting the clothing items waste away in my dresser. For the two long sleeved shirts, I took the right sleeve and cut it down and sewed it closed so that Ezra wouldn’t have to worry about pinning them up anymore, and for the pants I made it so that the waist was adjustable so that if he needed to he could tighten them or loosened them, because I wasn’t sure how well, or if, the pants would fit him. As for the t-shirt, I didn’t really do anything to it beyond mending the tear along the left side that I hadn’t noticed until I had went to refold it. 

The next morning after breakfast I had gone outside and collected the clothes folding and mending them. My father’s and Anthony’s, I left on their beds, and mine I put away, but I left Ezra’s pile of clothes neatly folded on my bed. That night at dinner I had smiled and talked a little more than I had in the last few weeks. It was obvious that Ezra was also in a good mood, and he kept meeting my eyes and smiling at me when my cheeks would turn slightly red. 

My father had went to bed almost as soon as Ezra had left the house. As I did the dishes, Anthony had come up behind me offering to dry them and put them away. I had only smiled and handed him the towel. We stayed silent as we finished the few dishes that were left. As I was drying my hands, I jumped a little when Anthony broke the silence saying my name. When I looked up at him he looked me in the eye and took a deep breathe before quietly asking, “When you leave, tell me so I can say goodbye, okay?”

Shocked I could only nod, looking back into his eyes as he stared into mine. He gave me a small smile and then he left the kitchen and I listened as he walked up the stairs and into his room. I stood there for a few minutes trying to really process what had just happened. I must have stood there longer than I had thought because by the time I had moved up to my room and looked out the window the sun was completely gone from the sky and two of K-5’s moons at already risen. 

Walking to my bed I grabbed the stack of Ezra’s clothes, both new and old, and turned to quietly walk out of the room, only stopping at my dresser and grabbing the bundle of flowers I had found on the floor of the spare room and placing them on top of the folded clothes in my hands. 

Creeping out of the house and into the barn was a new experience. I was used to sneaking around, and until about a month or so I had thought that I had perfected it. But, something about sneaking around outside felt different and it made me more paranoid than usual. Finally reaching the barn didn’t help matters, either. The main area of the barn felt as though it held unimaginable horrors in every dark corner, making me jumpy and scared for what I knew was nothing. Slowly, I made my way to the latter that lead to where I knew Ezra was, all the while my ears were alert and listening for any noise, nothing but the wind could be heard though. 

Once in the hayloft I relaxed slightly, not completely though, and scanned the small area, squinting and trying to find Ezra. With my first scan of the area I didn’t see him so I stepped further into the hayloft, the small amount of hay that was up there crunching under my feet. This time as I scanned the area, I whispered out Ezra’s name, too scared to raise my voice any higher. At what I can only assume to be the sound of his name being called, I heard Ezra rustling behind me, and right as I turn in the direction of the sound I heard him call out, “Flower, is that you? Truly you? Because I must confess that I have had many dreams of this situation only to wake aching to hold you and hear your voice. And at this point if you are just another of my my traitorous mind’s illustrious illusions, I might have to break into the house and visit you myself…”

Sighing and smiling at Ezra’s confession all I could do was walk towards where his voice came from. Once I reached him I could see the melancholic look in his eyes in the low light of the small lamp he had lit after hearing my voice. After taking him in for a second, I shyly looked to the floor and bit my lip before clearing my throat.

“I, um… I brought you your laundry. And I hope you don’t mind but I also fixed them up to the best of my abilities, I’m not exactly a seamstress but the holes and tears are closed….”

Smiling Ezra held his hand out and helped me sit across from him on the floor of the hayloft. After sitting I slowly passed the clothes to him chewing on my bottom lip in anticipation of what his reaction would be to both his clothes and the new items I had made for him. Ezra’s first reaction was to small and take the flowers, reaching across and placing them behind my ear with a soft, ‘ _ there, perfect _ ’. Then we sat in silence as Ezra meticulously looked over his clothes with a small loving smile, and when he got to the new clothes the smile turned into more of a confused one as he looked up at me. 

“Flower, you claim not to be a seamstress, but this stitching is as close to perfect as anyone would get, I don’t think anyone would think that there was even hole in any of these garments. For Kevva’s sake you even found and patched that embarrassing hole in the intimate areas of my pants that I have until now successfully and embarrassingly hidden from you and the other two. But, flower, I do think you may have mixed some of either your Father’s or your brother’s clothing in with mine, for I know without a doubt these are not mine.”

Looking down messing with my nails in my lap I quietly answered, “Well, you see...I noticed your clothes were, um, well for lack of a better term, worse for wear, and I had some of Joshua’s old clothes so I thought I would fix them up for you. Modify them slightly to fit you better.”

As I spoke, I could see Ezra sorting through the new clothes, unfolding them to inspect them. Slowly I raised my head to watch him as he rubbed the cloth between his thumb and forefinger. I watched as he realized that I had patched the right sleeves to fit what was left of his missing limb. And I watched as his eyes met mine, with a look in them that I couldn’t put my finger on. 

Getting embarrassed I looked back down at my lap and finished what I was saying with a quick, “I only modified the new cloths because I didn’t want to mess with your clothes just in case you didn’t like the modifications, and if you don’t like it I can, I can just take them back to the house. You don’t have to kee-”

“You would have to pry this gratuitous gift from my cold dead hands, flower. These are………. Flower, I am a man of many words and you have managed to take them all away from me with this small, but pure, act of kindness. I must admit that I had not gotten new clothing for myself in quite some time, while it be because of self loathing or because I didn’t see the point in new clothes if they were to only end up like the ones I have now, I am not sure. But these are more than what I could ask for. Precious flower you really though of everything when getting these ready for me, didn’t you? Kevva above, what did I do in a past life to deserve your absolute beauty and kindness because gods know that I didn’t do anything good enough for you in this one.”

Laughing quietly, I could only shake my head as my eyes started to get watery. Looking back up at Ezra, I was only met with a gaze that held so much emotion that it almost hurt to return. Ezra then set the clothes to the side and moved closer to me, our knees pressed against each other, and he reached his hand out, pressing it into the side of my neck with a sigh. 

“Flower, I must admit that it was starting to get to hard for me not to reach arcoss that damned table at meals and just touch you. I have missed your touch more than I ever thought possible. This time without your touch made walking through a desert without water seem much more comfortable and appeasing. Seeing you so close, and not being able to have you has torn this old prospector’s heart and soul to shreds. Darling precious flower, please allow me the salvation that is your lips on mine, for I think a second longer without them might spell my death.”

Laughing again at Ezra’s dramatics, I lean towards him only to to feel his hand pull me as close as possible as he crashes his lips against mine. I couldn’t help the small moan that escaped me as my lips met his in a kiss that felt like Ezra was trying to devour my very being. Ezra’s hand moved to the back of my neck, his fingers sinking into my hair. My own hands finding their way onto Ezra’s chest and into the hair above his ear, as he pressed his tongue against mine deepening the kiss. 

By the time we seperated both of our chests were heaving for breathe, and I finally noticed that at some point during the kiss we had moved closer, I had ended up on Ezra’s lap with my legs wrapped around his waist. 

Ezra smiled blissfully up at me and nudged my nose with his own, and when he spoke I could feel his breath fan aross my kiss swollen lips, “Thank you, flower, I can say that after a kiss like that, I don’t think I am going to die on you anytime soon.”

“So you are saying that one was enough? You don’t need anymore?”

Laughing, Ezra pulled back far enough to meet my eyes. “One, will never me enough with you, my sweet flower. You are as addicting as any forbidden substance and you should come with a warning for the weary travels like me.”

Before I could so much as laugh, Ezra connected our lips into another heart achingly passionate kiss. His hand moved from my neck to rub up and down my back and pulling me closer so that our chests are pressed tightly against one another. Using my leg to press closer to Ezra, I without realizing ground down onto him which pulled a gasp from me and a groan from him as Ezra bucked his hips up into mine allowing me to feel just how excited he was to see me. 

Ezra pulled away from the kiss then and placed his hand onto my hip as he looked into my eyes with a serious expression and in the most serious voice I have ever heard him use he asked, “Flower, I need to know now if you want this, because if you say yes I would love to do nothing more than to worship every last part of you, and treat you like the absolute goddess that you are. But, if you do not want this, I understand. Afterall it was only a few weeks ago that-”

“Please, don’t talk about it… I.. I want this, Ezra,” and looking him dead in the eye I spoke quietly, “Ezra, please make me forget. Make me forget anything but  _ you _ .”

With the consent that he was hoping and praying for, Ezra jumped into action pressing me off his lap and laying me onto the soft, but scratchy hay. Slowly he made good on his promise to worship my body. Slowly removing my clothes and revealing my body to him. He kissed, sucked, massaged, and marked every part of my body making me squirm for him.

When he undressed, he kissed me slowly and allowed me to run my hands over him, as he groaned and sighed at my touches. Once he had gotten impatient with only soft touches, he deepened the kiss as he pleasured me with his beautifully calloused and rough fingers, drawing out the first of many orgasms. After his fingers he followed with his mouth, making me moan and whine his name as he brought me to my peak as many times as I allowed him to, until I had to push his head away, too sensitive from his ministrations. 

Moving back up my body, Ezra kissed me slowly as I came down from the high that he had thrown me into, all the while still stroking my body in anyway he could. Once I had caught my breath, Ezra moved his lips to my ear and whispered, “Are you sure you want this?”

And with a nod, because he had taken all my ability to speak anything but his name, he pulled back and sat on his knees as he pulled my hips and angled them, with my help, before he slowly pressed himself into me. I had been with a few boys from my planet, but they couldn’t compare to in any way to how full Ezra made me feel once he was seated fully inside of me. Moaning his name, all I could do was clutch at the hay that surrounded me as Ezra made love to me until we were both more than exhausted. 

Laying in the hayloft with Ezra’s head resting on my heart, I had never felt more loved or happy or safe in my life. And all I could do was wish that this feeling or this moment would never end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Per usual THANK YOU for reading!! Every single one of you mean so much to me! All feedback is welcome, I especially love hearing your thoughts about the last chapter! I hope you guys have a lovely week and I’ll see you with the next part!


	6. Dreams of Futures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well here we are guys.... I really want to thank everyone who has given this story a chance. I know I'm not a the best writer but it really is one of my passions and with all of the support I've gotten for Hayloft especially, I am hoping to continue writing and maybe even complete my childhood dream of being a published author (though that will be way in the future)! For now I just want everyone to know that I'm really happy that you're all here and you've supported me! Also Happy Valentines Day!
> 
> Warnings: sex mentioned but not really described, the father talks again so berating and abusive language, fighting, running bc that needs a warning

Sneaking back into the house after that first night in the barn was difficult. Neither Erza nor I wanted to separate, and we had stalled until it had almost been too late. But, in the end, we didn’t get caught again. Our nighttime visits resumed again after that night, though now I was sneaking out to see him almost every night, not able to stand being away from him any longer. Gone also were the nights of being apart from each other in any way. While not every night was filled with passionate touches and pleasure, each night was spent holding each other and trying to soothe the aches of being apart all day. 

Sleep soon became the least of my priorities and it showed during the day. I was constantly tired and it made the days seem to drag on. Nights on the other hand always seemed to pass too quickly as I tried in vain to grasp and hold onto the stolen moments that Ezra and I were able to share. I noticed that Ezra was also being affected by the lack of sleep, when I worked with them in the field I noticed him yawning in the middle of sentences, but when I would bring it up at night when we were alone he would always look scared and pull me closer saying he was fine and then ask me not to leave. 

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Shortly after the nightly visits to the barn started, and about a month away from when Ezra’s ship would arrive to take him away, as I climbed my way into the hayloft and faced Ezra, I was met with a sight I hadn’t seen in what felt like forever. Ezra was sitting against the far wall of the loft with the lantern on, his shirt off, and my Edgar Allan Poe book held in his hand. I had not thought of my books until that moment, my mind too distracted with other thoughts to think to wonder where they had disappeared to after the confrontation that had happened in that small spare bedroom. 

Walking over to Ezra now though, I could see that he had all of them, except for the one he was holding, tucked away into his small bag, keeping them safe. Looking up at what I assume to be the sound of my footsteps, Ezra smiled and motioned for me to sit down next to him, and once I had settled, with my head on his shoulder, I spoke softly. “I feel somewhat ashamed. I had not even realized that my books were missing until just a few seconds ago when I saw you with Poe.”

Turning and pressing a kiss to my forehead Ezra answered just as softly, “No need to be ashamed, my delicate and beautiful flower. Your mind has been preoccupied with things that have taken you far from worrying about our shared writing friends. Not to worry though, I have kept them safe and away from anything that could harm their precious pages. I believe that when your brother was gathering my things to bring out here to me he saw the books and assumed they were mine. I didn’t say anything, and selfishly kept them, when I should have returned them to you, but those lonely nights without you were hard on my old soul and these books that held a small portion of you brought me solace. Especially, our dear friend Poe who brought us together. Whenever I missed you most I would find my aching fingers turning to the poem I recited for you that first day and I would read it over and over until I fell into my fitful and aching slumber.”

Looking at the book now, I noticed that he was once again staring at the page that held the poem. It was obvious that this page had been visited more often than naught, as the page showed signs of wear and a few crinkles where the page most likely creased when he fell asleep with it in his hand. Lifting my head to look at Ezra, and already finding him watching me with what I hoped to be love in his eyes, I gave him a smile and bit my lip before opening my mouth and reciting the poem back to him.

“In visions of the dark night

I have dreamed of joy departed;

But a waking dream of life and light

Hath left me broken-hearted.

Ah! what is not a dream by day

To him whose eyes are cast

On things around him, with a ray

Turned back upon the past?

That holy dream, that holy dream,

While all the world was chiding,

Hath cheered me as a lovely beam

A lonely spirit guiding.

What though that light, thro’ storm and night,

So trembled from afar―

What could there be more purely bright

In Truth’s day-star?”

As I watched his face while speaking the same lines he had spoken to me what feels like decades ago at this point, though only a few short months ago, his face morphed into a loving smile. I watched as the soft smile he had turned wider, and the crinkles next to his eyes deepened, and his dimple peeked out beneath his facial hair deepened. After I finished, I blushed and turned away from his gaze.

“I, um...I read that poem almost nightly after we first walked back here to the farm together. I couldn’t bring myself to read past that poem either, it was always just that one, and I always only heard your voice echoing it in my head as my eyes read along the lines. That was all before we started meeting at night….”

After my admission, Ezra had set the book aside, carefully placing it with the others. Then he carefully picked up my hand kissed my palm before sliding my hand to rest on his cheek as he pulled me into his lap. As soon as I was close enough he started kissing me, starting with small soft pecks on the corners of my mouth before moving on to full kissing my lips. He slowly worked the kisses from soft to passionate. 

That night we sat against the wall and as Ezra held me and made love to me, he continuously whispered and recited our poem. For once he didn’t drawl on about this or that, only softly and huskily reciting those words over and over into my ear in between kisses and nips and moans of my name.

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The days were counting down too quickly for my taste. I was scared, in all honesty. I felt as if I had finally gotten Ezra, but I still hadn’t fully gotten him in the way that I longed for. I wanted to be able to spend every waking moment with him. I wanted to be able to feel his touch whenever without worrying about my father. I want to be able to walk up and kiss him. I want to be able to make love with him in a bed for once. I want so much, still, and time is running out. Even as I sit close to Ezra and listen to him speak about just whatever is going through his mind, I can’t help but worry about what is going to happen in only a few week’s time. Will I have to watch as the man I have come to love walks away from me forever? Will he decide to stay with me and settle down on K-5? Or will he take me with him and into that big ship that comes for him, taking me with him on every adventure following?

“...lower? Darling? Are you back with me yet,” coming back to the present I am met with Ezra’s soft smile and teasing eyes, as he rubs the palm of my hand with his thumb. “What has taken you away from me, flower? For your eyes seemed to be a million miles away from here, and I must say I am slightly worried that you may have finally grown tired of my endless drawl. Tell me, please?”

Shaking my head with a small laugh, I returned his smile. “I’m sorry, Ez. I can assure you that I am far from tired of listening to you talk. I always look forward to getting to listen to you…”

“Then what is stealing your attention from me, flower? I can tell that something is bothering you, and it has me slightly worried. You can talk to me about anything, I promise you no harsh judgments, I could never think or speak anything unsavory when it comes to you, my lovely flower.”

As he speaks, Ezra reaches over to me and pulls my bottom lip free from my teeth as he has done so many times before. We sit in silence for a few moments, before I take a deep breath and quietly whisper, “What is going to happen in the next few weeks? After the harvest is done, and the ship comes for you?”

Watching Ezra’s eyes as I spoke, I saw them get a sad hue to them. I watched as Ezra swallowed and he said in a solemn tone, “I cannot stay flower. I must leave with that ship….but I don’t have to leave alone. Flower, you could come with me, I would more than love to take care of you out there, and show you the universe that you have only seen through stories...That is of course if that is what  _ you _ want. I will not push you into leaving your family, or your planet, but know that leaving without you by my side will break me. I know that what we have hasn’t lasted long but I know for certain that this is special. I know without a shadow of doubt that I have fallen completely for you. And, if I were to leave you behind, I would end up leaving my heart and soul along with you. I love you, flower…”

Crying, I move my hands to hold Ezra’s face and I press my forehead to his own. For a few seconds, we sit like this and as I run my thumbs across his cheeks, Ezra wraps his arm around my waist.

“You honestly think that I’m going to stay on this Kevva forsaken planet when the man that holds  _ my  _ heart and soul is leaving? If you will have me, I am coming with you. I love you, Ezra, and if you left me here, I fear that I would waste away from the heartbreak.”

“I swear flower, you make me the happiest man in the known universe. If you had said anything about not coming with me I think I would have left this mortal body from the sadness alone. I don’t think I could ever be far from you again.”

\---------------------------------------------------------------

After we both agreed that we would be leaving K-5 together when the time came in the following weeks, we started planning how exactly we were going to accomplish running away with each other. We both knew that my father would try and stop us, so we couldn’t risk him finding out any part of our plans. And as much as I hated it, I had decided to leave Anthony in the dark as well. I knew that, yes, in the past few months the two of us had gotten closer, but I still didn’t know how he would react if I told him. I still remember what he had said to me in the kitchen and I planned to keep that promise, but I couldn’t find it in me to tell him, still too scared that he might tell my father and dash all hope of me getting off this planet.

Ezra and I’s plan was simple, really. The plan was to have everything packed and ready to go the night before the ship would make its way to town. After my father goes to bed I would go to Anthony, say my goodbyes, and grab the money that was owed to Ezra for his work before going to the hayloft, with my packed things. That night Ezra and I would stay together and in the early morning light, we would leave for town. If everything went well, we both should be loaded onto the ship and gone before my father noticed that I hadn’t just gone on my usual Saturday morning supply run. Simple, as long as everything went accordingly.

\---------------------------------------------------------------

The weeks and days ticked by quickly, and my anxiety continuously rose. Ezra tried to calm me, giving me soft words and holding me at night, but I could tell that he himself was getting anxious as well. As the last week came, each night we would greet each other and do just about anything to distract ourselves from the looming escape. And as Friday came, I found that my bottom lip was chewed raw from the anxiety and anticipation for what was to come, but I couldn’t stop myself from continuing the bad habit, only wincing when I brushed over an especially sore spot on my lip.

The day itself was rather uneventful. I once again was doing laundry away from the other three, as they pulled in the last of the harvest. Before I had even realized it, it was time for dinner and as we all sat down for dinner, we ate in silence for the first time in what felt like forever. Surprisingly enough it was my father who broke that silence as we were all finishing up our food.

“You’re quiet for once in your life it seems. It almost seems suspicious,” my father spoke watching Ezra with careful eyes. To which Ezra just gave him an easy smile, and replied, “No reason to be suspicious, I assure you. I am just tired and the food was just too good to take breaks for speaking.”

“Hmmm, well I hope you enjoyed it because it’s gonna be your last meal here, I’ll have your money waiting outside in the morning and I want you gone by first light. If you’re not, well, only having one arm is gonna be the least of your problems.”

With that said, my father left the table and went straight to his bedroom. Looking back to Ezra, I found him looking down at his plate with a blank expression, his face neutral to whatever emotion was running through him at that moment. Glancing over at Anthony I found him watching me, and watched him open his mouth before speaking quietly.

“Listen, I don’t know what you two have planned, but dad has something planned as well. If you are leaving, I hope it’s gonna be before he has had a chance to even get up in the morning.”

Looking back to Ezra, I only saw him nod before he left the table as well. I watched as he grabbed his folded clothes, looked back at me with a small smile, and then walked out the back door. After he was gone, Anthony helped me clear the table and do the dishes, him drying as I cleaned, per our newer routine. And, after we had finished and before he could walk out of the kitchen, I wrapped my arms around him. 

“We are leaving in the morning. We hope to be gone by the time dad figures out I am not coming back from doing the shopping…”

“So this is goodbye, then?”

“Yeah, this is goodbye…”

With a hug and a kiss on my forehead, Anthony smiled at me and then left the kitchen, going upstairs to his room. Once again, I found myself standing in the kitchen losing track of time as I thought about what had just happened between Anthony and I. After I came back to the present though, I went and found the money my father had for Ezra, before making my way up to my room. 

Once in my room, I pulled the sack of belongings I had packed from underneath my bed where I had kept them hidden. Setting the bag on my bed I stashed the money away in one of the pockets before slinging the bag over my shoulder. Once again, I found myself stopping and looking around my room, taking everything in for one last time. When I found myself close to tears, I knew that it was time to leave, before the what ifs started to float around my head.

Making a quick and quiet escape out to the barn. Within minutes I was in the hayloft I found myself immediately being pulled into Ezra’s embrace. And, once I was in his arm, I felt a little bit of the stress that had built up this past month finally fade as I clutched him tightly.

“I am sorry for how my father has spoken to you these last few months. Nobody deserves to be treated the way he has treated you.”

“I would live through his constant torment and degradation of my character every day, if it meant that I could be with you. Flower, I do not care what he says to me, while his words may hurt, at the end of the day I still have you and you still have me no matter what he says or does. I love you so much, flower.”

“I love you too, Ezra.”

With that said Ezra lead me to the spot where he had been spending his nights. As we both laid down, Ezra held me close and whispered in my ear, as his hand trailed up my shirt. “Just one more time, for memory’s sake, flower?” And with my nodded consent Ezra brought me slow soft pleasure in the hayloft of my family’s barn before we drifted off to sleep for the first time holding each other. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

When I awoke the next morning, it was still dark out, and it was to Ezra’s soft kisses all over my face. Smiling, I moved one of my hands to cradle his face and pull him into a kiss, before whispering him a good morning feeling his smile grow across my lips.

“I don’t think I will ever get used to the feeling of waking up with you next to me. I am not completely sure that I have not left the mortal realm in my sleep and have awakened to an angel in what many have called heaven.”

Laughing I nuzzled my nose into his neck and pressed a kiss to the hollow of his throat. “And I do not think I will ever get used to being woken up by a waxing poet every morning.”

Feeling Ezra's laugh, I pulled away from him and got up from the makeshift bed to pull the clothes that had been thrown from my body the night before back on. Hearing movement behind me, I knew that Ezra was doing the same, and when I turned around, I smiled softly as I found him pulling on one of the shirts I had gifted him, the pants already covering his beautifully strong legs. Catching me looking, Ezra smirked. 

“See something you like, flower? Because I know I do.” Moving over to where I stand with a blindingly wide smile, Ezra leans down and gives me a chaste kiss before walking over to our bags, as I followed behind. Grabbing mine and handing it to me, I slid it on as Ezra turned and grabbed his own. Once both bags were secure Ezra turned back to me, this time looking slightly unsure. “Are you ready, flower?”

“I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life. Ezra,” I say, and take his hand and hold his face. “Take me far away from here. Show me the universe and every secret you know.”

Leaning in, Ezra and I share one last passionate kiss before we made our way down the ladder and into the main portion of the barn. Once, we were both safely there, we both reached for the other’s hand as we walked to the barn door.

Right before we reached the doors, I was struck by the feeling that something was wrong. Before I could say anything, we reached the opening of the barn and I immediately realize why I felt that way, and judging by the way Ezra’s hand tightened in my own, he noticed as well. In the house the kitchen lights were on, and in the back doorway, there was the silhouette of my father holding what could only be his thrower rifle that he had stashed in the house. 

With the soft light of the rising sun, there was no way that my father didn’t see us standing there with our hands linked together. The three of us stood there, no one daring to move and inch, until my father moved the thrower and pointed it towards what I could only assume to be Ezra. He didn’t fire, but he did yell from the doorway, “I told you that there would be consequences, and I told you to stay away from my daughter. But all you do is talk so why did I expect you to know how to listen?  _ Leave. Now.  _ Before I decide to blow your brains out.”

Looking to Ezra with panic written across my face I only found him with a scowl on his face, as he held my hand tighter. And just as I went to whisper his name, Ezra spoke up and yelled back across to my father, “I was leaving right when you interrupted  _ our  _ departure. Now just lower the gun and we’ll be on our merry way. Out of your hair forever-”

“Like hell I am letting you take her. She’s staying right here and you are walking to town and leaving  _ forever _ .”

Scared and on the verge of crying, I looked back towards my father, only to notice movement behind him. Ezra must have noticed as well because he laced his fingers with mine and whispered, get ready to run, before yelling back to my father. “I think you’ll find that she isn’t inclined to stay on this planet a day longer. She is leaving with me.”

  
And as Ezra finished speaking, I watched as Anthony tackled our father to the ground with a quick yell of,  _ go run _ , and without even thinking that is exactly what Ezra and I did. As we ran, I could hear my father screaming and fighting Anthony as Anthony, the younger and stronger of the two, managed to hold him down long enough for us to escape. The want to turn my head and look over my shoulder was strong, but I knew I couldn’t. So clutching Ezra’s hand, I held tightly, knowing that I was running towards a new and better future, with a man that I loved with my whole being. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all again, you guys have made the last couple of months really amazing for me! I'm always looking for some interaction so please come say hi on my tumblr, fandom-blackhole! I am planning out two more things coming in the future, a one-shot and another multipart fic! I am also always open to expanding this fic so if you have questions I would LOVE to answer them! As always kudos and comments mean a lot and I love to hear you thoughts! I hope you all have great weeks, and futures if we don't meet again!

**Author's Note:**

> If enough people are interested I am thinking about opening my inbox to talk and expand on this world I’ve created on my tumblr account, fandom-blackhole? Anyways I hope you enjoyed! Likes, Reblogs, and Comments are always appreciated!! Much love and Happy 2021!
> 
> (Also if you figured out what I based the planet I created off of please tell me, I’d like to see obvious I made it lol. And if you’d like a hint it’s a part of the USA)


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